You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
