No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
