Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
