so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
