I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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