The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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