you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
