Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize