You're my little dorito
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Randomize
