Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
