Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
