I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I intend to get homeless drunk
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
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