If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
