Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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