thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
