I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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