You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
