I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
