your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
