i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
