Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize