Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
