Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my sisters under your porch take her home
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
