I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
