so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
