Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
