I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
