he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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