those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
