Did you just see the Batmobile???
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
