i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
