yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
