I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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