I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
