Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
