And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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