She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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