my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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