I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I wear drunk well.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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