i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
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