Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
