somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize