Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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