I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
