fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
