If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
