The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
