the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
