He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
