Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
