My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
