This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize