he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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