When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
