literally had 100 drinks last night.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
