I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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