is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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