Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
a search helicopter?!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
