even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
