I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
