just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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